Last Decision
by ElGato44
Summary: With the onset of her arranged marriage looming, Sun Shang Xiang wants to live her last moments of freedom to the fullest, revealing secrets, and even desperately asking for help from someone she admires and trusts.


Disclaimer/Pre-write: This was inspired by a weird conversation, and one of the screenshot images for Dynasty Warriors 8. The person I had a conversation with demanded I write something about it. This will be a one-shot, maybe a two-shotter depending on how I'm feeling and the response this gets.

* * *

During the night, camp seemed to have strange feelings of peacefulness and uncertainty. This uncertainty only seemed to avoid Lu Su, who strode rubbing his hands together, as was his habit.

"Lord Zhou Yu."

"Yes," the man's voice was direct. Zhou Yu was still focused onward, not on Lu Su.

"I think preparations are slowly coming to a finish. Just thought you should know."

"Thank you, but I know. I coordinated it myself, remember."

Lu Su sighed, "Yeah…I keep forgetting you like to micromanage. Valuable trait."

Zhou Yu's brow furrowed. He was not in a joking mood. Still Lu Su's tall frame met up beside him.

"Are you sure you are rested, Lord Lu Su?" Zhou Yu said, managing to smirk a tad. "You look a little bit off, and I once watched you eat scallops while you had a cold."

Lu Su withheld a laugh, "For you to say that, with those bags under your eyes, you must be really concerned. I'm assuming you wrote that clause about only being concerned for the welfare of anyone BUT you in that contract with Wu yourself."

"Very good," Zhou Yu smiled, letting the light jabbing of Lu Su roll off him. Normally, Lu Su was happy and jolly as anyone and would never seek to hurt anyone's feelings. But he would do so to keep things light.

"I do my best, my lord. Anything to keep the optimism up."

"Indeed…"

"Which reminds me…" Lu Su began, but was immediately cut off.

"No," Zhou Yu practically growled, his glare searing and the light-heartedness from before quickly molding into hard stony countenance.

Lu Su's mouth was left open but with a shake of his head he pushed, "I didn't even say anything."

"I know what you're going to ask. And the answer is no. Zhuge Liang has nothing to do with this battle and I'd rather he stay out of any affairs of ours. So, no, you will NOT call for his aid. Are we clear?" Zhou Yu said evenly.

"But why-?" Lu Su began.

"Are we clear?" Zhou Yu reiterated, leaving no room for rebuttal.

Lu Su swallowed in fear, but nodded.

"Then can you answer me this at least? Why do you show such malice towards Master Zhuge Liang?"

Zhou Yu sighed. He rather not get into this. He rather not douse his friend's friendship with Zhuge Liang. To put Lu Su in a position in which he would have to choose sides would kill him and several other Wu officers. Not only that, but Zhou Yu feared that Lu Su would choose Zhuge Liang over the Wu kingdom.

"Let's just say he is the reason my chances for a heart attack increase exponentially each day," Zhou Yu answered with the barest of smiles.

But they were both interrupted when a high voice called, "What's this? Lords Lu Su and Zhou Yu fighting? Now that is a sight to see."

"Not fighting Lady Sun, just having some masculine heart to heart," Lu Su laughed as the young and pretty Sun princess, Sun Shang Xiang, half-sauntered towards the two men, her hands on her hips.

"You two can't even argue like aggressive men. You just use your brains and words to fight. Incredible."

"I'm confused…are you scolding us or—" Lu Su said.

"I am scolding you," Shang Xiang pouted. "The both of you. Staying up all day and all night, doing this and that and now doing a strategists' way of fist fighting? I expected this out of Lord Zhou Yu, but you Lu Su, I'm shocked."

Zhou Yu smiled to himself, his demeanor more amiable than usual in front of the princess. And Lu Su smiled and shrugged.

"So are you two each other's battle wives now?" she asked.

"Battle wife?" Zhou Yu asked glancing at Lu Su who blushed a little.

"It's when two warriors hang around each other before and during battle and are forced to watch each others' backs. Inevitably it always ends up with the two throwing baozi at each other. Gan Ning and Ling Tong being my biggest point…and my most failed experiment," Lu Su said with a wry smile, purposely ignoring Zhou Yu's eyes narrowing it in a death glare.

"You coined that, didn't you," Zhou Yu retorted.

Lu Su laughed and patted his friend on the shoulder, "Don't be so shocked. I first coined it when I saw you and Sun Ce on the field."

Sun Shang Xiang watched as Zhou Yu stared at the hand on his shoulder with some amount of disgust. He didn't like to be touched even in the most friendly or casual way. Lu Su noticed and cautiously took his hand off his shoulder. Zhou Yu was never in a mood to joke before battles and his good humor overall had diminished over the past few years.

"You two lovers have fun with whatever comes next," Shang Xiang giggled and backed away from them and skipped off.

"She's still enthusiastic," Lu Su said, watching the princess run off. There was a tinge of regret in his voice.

"I'm surprised she's so…upbeat considering the circumstances of her arranged marriage," Zhou Yu folded his arms, his brow furrowing intently. "This…may very well be her last battle."

Lu Su gave a subtle nod. Normally that would be a good thing. But Sun Shang Xiang was a fighter to her core. To snuff one of the things that made her…her, was beyond disconcerting.

After a brief silence that was only filled by the wind and the subtle voices of wandering soldiers staying out late, Zhou Yu turned to Lu Su, "I'm going to need the map of north gate once more."

"What map?" the merchant replied softly.

"The map Lu Meng drew up."

"I see, the very map he drew up…and now misplaced."

"What?"

"He said he last saw it in the cabin, but never retrieved it." Lu Su replied.

Zhou Yu rubbed his tired eyes, "I'll go find it."

* * *

Zhou Yu entered the cabin and made straight for the desk. He was sure his map was there.

"Ah, there it is. Lu Su will have to teach Lu Meng to be a bit more organized," he said to himself with the barest of smiles. He rolled the map up and was about to turn to head back to the middle of camp before he heard the barest of noises. Anyone else would've missed it, but Zhou Yu had very sensitive hearing. When he was small, Sun Ce used to tease him about his rather large ears, but large ears were considered a sign of wisdom and his hearing came in handy when hunting.

But the sound he heard now was faint, as if whatever it was were trying to hide the fact that it was there.

Zhou Yu peered over the side of the long desk to find Lady Sun Shang Xiang crouched on the floor, her knees to her chest, head down.

Curious, Zhou Yu took a step forward, "Lady Shang Xiang?"

Sun Shang Xiang glanced up and it took Zhou Yu by surprise. Her cheeks were red as were her eyes. Her large green eyes were misty. It was obvious she was crying.

"Lord Zhou Yu!" she gasped and sniffed as she stood to her feet. She then went about to adjust her clothing and wiping the remnants of her sadness on her face.

"I'm sorry you had to see me like this," the young princess said, wiping tears from her eyes.

Zhou Yu didn't say anything, but his mouth was slightly agape, the space in between his brows creased into lines of intense concern. As calm as he always appeared Shang Xiang always thought that the subtle ticks and lines that formed on his face were so expressive, more so than most would think. It made her believe that he was a man capable of the most intense of emotions.

He must've been really good at hiding emotions. An expert of hiding anything and everything. Unlike her. Here she was, on the verge of tears in the middle of a battlefield in front of her country's Supreme Commander. A part of her expected him to dismiss her from the battlefield right then and there.

But she was the princess. A young tigress. Her mother always told her that nothing was as rare as a tigers' tears because they very rarely cried. Why should she let tears fall over something like this? Especially in front of Lord Zhou Yu.

"Lady Shang Xiang," he whispered, pausing briefly, "Whatever is the matter?"

She was her usual self a mere second ago, ready to charge the battlefield as her brother and father did before her. And now she was…

"Its…"

_None of your concern. _That was what Shang Xiang would usually say…politely. Now, she couldn't. She had to tell the truth.

"It's because of…"

She paused, now getting a good look at the man before her. Was she really going to spill her guts to him? Sure, she knew him ever since she could remember, but they never stood face to face in private like this before. Now he seemed so distant and unfamiliar, but so welcomed at the same time.

Her eyes traveled over him as he waited patiently for her response. She could see every detail like she hadn't seen him before in her life. His hands were large, well sculpted and manicured, strong with muscle and sinew from handling the weight and might of his staff and playing music on every instrument imaginable. His upper lip had dark pricks where a stubble was threatening to shadow. A few of those hairs that escaped the blade were poking out of the end of his chin with subtlety. His lips were thin and carved, a small faint scar underneath his lower lip the only blemish on his lips.

The lines on the muscles of his face were rigid and sharp with age and experience. For so long she saw him as a youthful smooth faced young man. But now, with hard contours of his jaw, chin, brow, and eyes he was very much an experienced man.

A man.

Not a young man caught in his youth, not a man past his prime. He still seemed to be very much in his prime.

Shang Xiang's heart thumped in her chest. She hadn't felt this way since…

"Please tell me," he said softly, patience and worry radiating off of him.

"It's this whole thing!" she said with passion, sobbing, but still remaining strong and still. "I know….I KNOW I said that I would go through with the marriage, but…I don't know what will happen to me. I afraid…"

The strong warrior princess wept into her hand, letting her vulnerability reveal itself naked in front of the last man she wanted to show it to.

"Liu Bei's a good man," Zhou Yu said softly, hoping his words would calm her, "He'll be respectful to you and never leave you wanting—"

"But that's not what I want!" she practically screamed. Her outburst silenced Zhou Yu.

She took a few shuddering breaths trying to calm herself, "I know…Liu Bei's a good man, and that I should be lucky to be his bride but…"

There was a pause. Sun Shang Xiang smiled at Zhou Yu and hid a sniffle.

"You may not have known this but…" she paused wondering if she should stop before everything she kept secret from everyone, including herself, would spill out.

"Ever since I was a little girl I had this crush on you."

Spill out it did.

Zhou Yu didn't flinch but Shang Xiang had this feeling that he was at least a little stunned.

Secrets began spilling with her tears. Her chin quivered.

"How could I not?" she choked, before looking away, putting her wrist over her mouth to stifle a cry. "I was always surrounded by boys. Most of them related to me in some way. You were the only one I've been around that I wasn't connected to by blood."

She was disappointed in herself for even having a history of such feelings

"And once I reached womanhood…I had no choice," Shang Xiang shrugged. "I still don't have much choice."

She swallowed, all her thoughts coming through her incoherently. The young woman glanced up at the man before her. Shang Xiang was always brave. Part of that was naïveté and the other was a part of her red-hot Sun blood. Still her bravery compelled her to do what she did next. She took a daring step towards the man, her green eyes holding his with certainty.

She reached up and let her fingers brush his neck. His eyes briefly flitted to the hand that was touching him, shock not yet creeping into his body.

"You've always been the only boy that I've been around throughout my life, even when I turned into a woman. I guess when I started noticing males you came into my sight, being as handsome and close to my brother as you were. And then Sun Ce told me that you always had this passion about you…"

She cupped his neck, fingers brushing a few strands of his hair, watching his brow furrow exquisitely, before she dragged her hand down his arm, to his wrist. She grabbed his hand and held it in both of hers.

"At the time I was going through my own changes with my body and my mind, but I always was curious about that passion you have hidden inside your breast."

Slowly, she brought his hand to her lips, giving a shuddering sigh at feeling his skin against her lips.

"I've always wanted to…experience your passion."

She began kissing his knuckles, feeling the hard strong bone and muscle of his large hands grace her lips. Her tears dared to drop onto his skin.

"Shang Xiang…"

Sun Shang Xiang kissed the warm, rough, calloused palm of his hand, feeling the ridges scratch against her lips. In the back of her mind she had images of these hands caressing the youngest Qiao sister, feeling mild jealousy towards the faithful wife of the man she was inappropriately touching. How many other women felt the caress of these hands? A part of her hoped several others rather than none. Then maybe he'd be more willing to…

Shang Xiang made a mistake. She pressed her body to his, undeniably too close. She tilted her head up and breathed onto his neck wanting to draw out that passion she felt was hidden deep within him. Her hips were pressed close, a blinding unfulfilled pressure—or ache—manifesting itself there. Her belly was against his hips and she pressed closer, feeling like she couldn't get close enough to him. All this blind fever kept her clawing at him like a mad woman as he tried to push her away. His voice as patient as it could be with the body of a woman so intimately pressed against his.

His fingers dug into her shoulders as she dared to kiss his chin.

"This must stop," he said with frustration as he wrenched her off his person, reaching beyond the point of trying to be delicate to her.

They backed away from each other gasping. Zhou Yu found the small desk behind him and rested on the edge of it, hunched over, looking like an aged man after exerting himself.

Shame filled her face and although she was still standing, in her mind she was crouched on the ground weeping into her hands.

"We can't do this," his hard voice cut. Her heart sunk deep into rapid waters. His expression and tone was unforgiving. There was no desire for her, hidden or otherwise.

"Why? Why can't I just have this?" she responded, feeling hurt and ugly. Shang Xiang hoped that there was just a small amount of reluctant desire for her in him, but life was never that perfect.

"Because," he said sharply, fixing her with a hard, stern stare. She had never been given such a look. Not by her father, not even her mother, "Because nothing about this is a good idea."

Typical strategist. If there was no worth in something, he would hardly pursue it. He straightened, readjusting the front of his robes over his hips.

"Be reasonable, Lady Shang Xiang. There is no reason TO do this. I dare not disgrace Sun Ce in such a way."

"Do you think my brother would care?"

Zhou Yu looked almost insulted and gave her an incredulous look, "Of course he would. He and your mother would no doubt rather die than to see you behave in such a way or have me take advantage of it. Not only that your other brother would kill me-"

"He wouldn't dare kill you," Shang Xiang interjected. "He fears and respects you. Sun Quan has NOTHING to do with this, and yet he is partly the cause of it."

Zhou Yu roughly rubbed his brow, hoping beyond hope that this was a dream, a trick perpetrated by Gan Ning or Lu Su. Such a cruel trick that would be.

"This would be political and social suicide for you, for Sun Quan, for Wu. Liu Bei and his cohorts would not be taken kindly at being given damaged goods."

Sun Shang Xiang cringed, "If you think I will let that man bed me, then you clearly don't know the Sun family as well as I thought."

"You would regret it. Every moment of it," Zhou Yu said as if he knew it to be a fact. Like he saw the future and knew how she felt.

"You don't know that. I don't think I will," she replied, but the look on Zhou Yu's face indicated that he most assuredly thought otherwise.

"You will, my lady. You will. I don't know who has been filling your head with romantic notions about me or men in general, but trust me on this one, I am not a good lover."

Shang Xiang's face softened at that revelation, curious to know why he felt that way about himself. Her gaze was almost begging for an explanation.

"I think you are selling yourself short…" she replied heartbroken at seeing Zhou Yu damage his own self esteem just to persuade her not to pursue her intentions. As soon as she said that phrase, her gaze wandered down to his clothed and covered groin area. Was…was that what he was so unsure of? How she would perceive his size?

Shang Xiang swallowed, "I have nothing to compare to. Why worry about your size-?"

Zhou Yu looked horrified and confused as if the topic was not within his realm of explanation.

"No, that's not my fear. I'm talking about in general and what makes a lover. Someone who's attentive, romantic, and…good. Satisfying. It's all I can say. I am not as good a lover as some may think."

Inside her head, Shang Xiang didn't care. Wasn't it enough to be with him? It would only be one time—her first time. She rather it be with someone she trusted and yearned for and have it be bad than to be with someone she didn't trust and didn't crave. That and she knew Zhou Yu was downplaying himself. She accidently caught conversations of the Qiao sisters talking about matters of the marital bed. Initially she was mortified with the details of her older brother…but Zhou Yu. Nothing she heard indicated in anyway that he was lackluster.

There was that passion he was hiding again. Why did he hide it? What was he trying to prevent anyone from seeing?

"Again, you're selling yourself short. Am I that detestable that you have to lower yourself in front of me?"

"You're not detestable," Zhou Yu's scowl told her otherwise. "The situation you're presenting is. Do you have any idea? Shang Xiang, I don't know what's come over you, but you must see how ridiculous this all is."

"If I didn't think it was ridiculous, we would've had this conversation by now," she pulled a face very reminiscent of the same exasperated expression the late Lady Wu frequently directed towards the Sun boys.

"This is my last moment of freedom, the last thing I can do on my own, making my own decision," she continued. "I rather this be the wrong decision than not be able to make a decision at all."

Zhou Yu shook his head. She was still being unreasonable. Sun Ce and Sun Quan were stubborn, but he could easily sway them from the wrong path. It was not so with Lady Sun Shang Xiang. He was beginning to feel tired, exhausted from trying to set her down and see reason.

"Why are you so insistent upon me then?" he said with a frown. "You told me you had these…feelings towards me for a time now, but why not quench them with someone else. Someone handsomer and…younger. By setting your sights on me, you are restricting your decisions just as much as your situation is. You can choose someone different. Someone closer to your own age who can give you satisfaction. Lady Shang Xiang, you are young still, I am not. With every passing day my body and mind creaks and it won't get better. I am too old for your needs."

For the first time during this whole thing she saw an emotion in him other than frustration or anger. There was regret and pain. Weariness and exhaustion. He was in the prime of his life, but he was still susceptible to the aches of fighting for most of his life, holding the burden of an entire kingdom on his shoulders. Maybe it was catching up to him faster than she thought.

"I…" she breathed, seeing the subtle lines of age crease in his face. To her, this sign of unfathomable experience and aches made her want him more. He was a hardened fighter and a thoughtful thinker. If he thought that his age was going to deter her he was wrong.

"Your wife is a mere five years older than I. And yet she still desires you and has borne you children out of that desire. How should your age matter to someone with a difference of five years?"

"Which brings me to my biggest point," Zhou Yu folded his arms, sucking in a breath, trying hard not to verbally attack her or yell and cause a commotion.

"I am married. I have children and a family. I wouldn't trade any of that."

Shang Xiang shook her head, "Listen to yourself and look around you. You have a wife, but I'm about to be given to someone who has at least three. Does my betrothed care? No, I should think not. No normal man in this day and age would."

Shang Xiang felt confident enough in her trump cards to approach him once again, she calmly reached out and caressed the material of his half robe, her fingers running along the red and white silk material.

"I'm not asking for marriage. I'm not asking to be with you forever. Or for you to throw away what you have for me. I want just one night. One night in your arms. I just need you, someone I know, admire, trust and respect for tonight, because after this I will always be alone."

"My second biggest point," Zhou Yu said deep in his throat, staring directly into her eyes. "I don't want to."

He was serious. His jaw and gaze set. It was really his main point, but he wanted her to find reason without resorting to something so direct. He did pity her and he wanted to make her feel better, but not like this. She dropped a bombshell upon him by confessing her desires that she hid for so long. How was he supposed to react?

Never in his heart of hearts did he desire to make her cry, to reject her and push her away so suddenly. If this were a few years ago and they weren't in dire straits he would've taken her confession and told her to think on it before gently rejecting her.

But this…this wasn't fair to either of them.

Shang Xiang bit her lip, eyes searching his for an opening. She didn't want to throw this at him…

"You," her voice quivered, "you always were a shield and protector of my family. I won't pretend to understand why, but I have to remind you of that promise and the promise you made to Quan and I when Sun Ce died."

The hard muscle of his cheek quivered as he grit his teeth inside his mouth.

"You said that you'll do everything in your power to see our dreams fulfilled."

Zhou Yu's eyes widened slightly and he gave a sharp intake of breath. He was horrified, trapped.

"Seeing as I know you can't free me of this obligation to Liu Bei, and were partially the motivator of it, I ask of you this instead. Please…"

Zhou Yu pressed his hand over his eyes, his fingers pressing against his temples. He inhaled and sighed. He looked no more open to the prospect of bedding her than before. But he looked rather guilty and trapped.

"That's…not what I intended. I don't want to do this, and you don't either. How I wish you could see that. I wish I could help you see that."

His face was open but cold, no longer looking furious, but rather emotionless. With hesitation he gripped her shoulders. Zhou Yu subtly shook his head as if this was truly the last thing he wanted to do.

"Just promise me you won't hate me for this afterwards."

He awkwardly leaned into her face, his lips over hers, but he hesitated. Still she could feel his warm breath washing over her lips. She closed her eyes against the tingling sensation running up her spine and neck. Her heart beat faster than she could ever imagine and it felt like it lodged itself against her throat. Whispering a praise to the heavens in her head, she closed the gap for him, their lips meeting. The kiss to her was more than she could imagine, as awkward as it was to her it felt…right. Still, a part of her couldn't believe it, like she was expecting to wake up and find herself in camp, Zhou Yu still blissfully unaware of her woes and desires. Thankfully, as she drew more reluctant kisses from her brother's best friend, she began to fully embrace that this was real.

* * *

Shang Xiang found it strange though that how much little kissing was involved within the actual act. They found Zhou Yu's bed within the darkness of the cabin as they both went about undressing themselves. Zhou Yu wanted to keep some emotional and intimate distance between them by keeping his dull burgundy trousers on as they both crawled into bed.

She was a little put off that she was fully prepared to show him everything. Every scar, every mark on her body, while he was…restricting himself in front of her.

He kissed her once when they were on the bed, but that was it.

Spite and guilt was in his eyes as he did as he promised.

It hurt.

She was surprised how much it hurt. It wasn't much like what she expected. Then again, she didn't know what to expect.

The whole time she was wondering what she should do, but Zhou Yu didn't seem to be expecting anything. It still felt nice after the pain faded, warm and pleasurable, even if the grinding and pressing was slow, jagged, and rough. He wouldn't look at her, his strong hard body pressed on hers so they were skin on skin, his head at her shoulder, while she was forced to stare at the ceiling. It was just all so surreal. Again, this was a man she had known ever since she was a little girl. Crushes were crushes and rarely could she ever predict that she would be in this situation with him. But now she was. It was initially weird and awkward to her but she was definitely not regretting this intimacy with Grand Commander and Admiral Zhou Yu.

This was what she wanted and she could feel and hear Zhou Yu's equilibrium and finesse slowly shatter away. It wasn't rough, vigorous or passionate, nothing like her fantasy driven mind would've imagined it.

Still, knowing something so personal and so intimate as how the man above her makes love was enough for her. His ragged breaths, soft grunts, slow strong erratic movements that forced her hips up and down alone was giving her what she desired.

Her breath came out as delicate chokes every time he pressed against her.

She gasped softly and closed her eyes feeling soft pleasure slowly and gently flow through her like a strong even wind. Zhou Yu struggled and tensed harder against her letting out a long drawn out sigh as he finished awkwardly.

Feeling him finish, Shang Xiang breathed out in relieved satisfaction and placed a gentle kiss on his shoulder.

* * *

Zhou Yu sat on the edge of the bed, his head held in his hands. Shang Xiang was still on the bed, sitting up, using the sheets to cover her body. She stared at him, wondering what he was going to do next.

"I told you…" his voice was hoarse and he stared off into the distance.

"About what?"

"Everything…"

He was being vague. He couldn't believe he slept with his sworn brother's sister. It was a violation of the highest degree. Sun Ce forgive him. Xiao Qiao forgive him. Heavens forgive him. He truly did not want to do it.

But a promise was a promise.

Sun Shang Xiang stared at the man's back. It tore at her heart. She didn't think that bedding her would cause such distress in him. With what she had seen of men, they were usually overeager when it came to pleasures of the flesh, with young men and women alike. She always thought that when it came to the emotional and mental implications of sex, females were a lot more…delicate.

"I thought it was fine. Perfect in fact," she replied, running a hand through her auburn hair. "It wasn't what I expected, but that didn't take away my joy and I definitely don't regret it."

Zhou Yu dropped his hands from his face, and gave a wry, sardonic chuckle, "Now you don't. You will in due time, after the afterglow wanes and you see with clear eyes."

Shang Xiang hesitated, wanting to reach out and embrace him, whisper her apologies. She truly didn't want to hurt him. She wanted to love him.

She reached out to touch his shoulder, but Zhou Yu abruptly stood and walked away from the bed to light the candles.

* * *

Shang Xiang was still lying at the head of the bed, sheets gathered around her breasts as she took a sip of rice wine from a flat cup. She hadn't drunk liquor this much before. She was granted a sip or two from her brother, and one of her nurses used a few drops to help her fall asleep when she was younger, but never full cups. It didn't affect her as much as she thought, but that was because of the cautious and well-spaced sips she drank.

She stared at the other end of the bed at the man lying on his side. Zhou Yu still had his trousers on, the sheet wrapped around his waist. He was smoking a long pipe, the thick white smoke flowing like dragon's breath through his mouth and nostrils and up over his head.

She kept giving him appreciative glances. After his distressed response after lying with her, she figured he would gather his clothes and leave her alone and naked in his bed. But Lord Zhou Yu was a gentleman. He would never bed a woman and leave her alone and vulnerable until he was sure she was safe and healthy.

That wasn't the only thing she appreciated about him at the moment. Now that the room was lit by something else besides the moon, she could adequately see all of him. Shang Xiang began to feel a twinge of surrealism again. Before now, with the exception for a few brief glimpses, she had only seen him in clothes. Restricting clothes even in the hottest of weather.

There was once right after she reached womanhood when she accidentally caught him slipping on his hanfu over his bare back after an afternoon of swimming in the river with the rest of the officers, but it was brief and she only saw his back. Not enough to trigger any lustful imaginings of the man above what she already desired.

But here he was, his torso bare, the soft light from the candles illuminating his skin and every solid and compact muscle on his body. She found it entertaining to watch. The way his torso and muscles moved with every minute movement and the small diamond of sparse hairs in the center of chest that traveled down between the muscles of his stomach to his waistband was just fascinating. Generally, men's torsos, especially in the south were as smooth as a baby's bottom. Even the men in her family had who could grow every hair imaginable on their heads; they had not a hair on their bodies. So to see even the very miniscule amount of hair on the body of the smooth Zhou Yu was incredibly exotic.

Zhou Yu was quietly puffing at his pipe, letting the smoke roll like water out of his mouth and nose. It was hypnotic watching the lazy smoke fill the air around his head. He seemed to be pondering something. Meanwhile, Shang Xiang was resisting the urge to crawl over to him and kiss his lips, his chest and down his body, tasting the smoke and musk on her alcohol numbed lips. She knew better. He already did as she asked. Asking for more would just be greedy.

He noticed her staring at his body and he was beginning to feel self-conscious. Was there something about his body that bothered her? He only truly trusted his young wife sight of his bare body. He cocked his head and flitted his tongue out to briefly wet his lips, letting smoke puff out.

"May I try that?" the princess asked pointing to the long pipe.

Zhou Yu smirked, "No, you're too young to be starting the habit of having a pipe in your mouth."

Shang Xiang pouted. She was too young to smoke a simple pipe but not to drink or sleep with a man. But rather than start an argument, she left it alone, praying that they could at least have some sort of civil discussion.

"I guess you are feeling a lot of regret," Shang Xiang said shyly, sadness creeping in her tone.

Zhou Yu puffed on his pipe, taking a moment to answer. He sighed and gave her a wry smile.

"There are a lot of things I regret," he said, guilt flitting across his face. Shang Xiang couldn't fathom all the things he was regretting or feeling guilty about.

"But among them this is not the highest on my list."

Shang Xiang's heart released at the knowledge that this wasn't the worst thing Zhou Yu had ever done.

"But you hated every minute of it."

Zhou Yu tried not to smile in amusement, "No, definitely not during. I don't think any man is capable of feeling anything but pleasure during the act. If so I'm not one of them. Before and after…it was not…ideal."

She looked down at the sheet that covered her body. She felt some sort of sense of accomplishment. Still, her cheeks turning red she shyly glanced up, "I…gave you pleasure?"

Zhou Yu opened his mouth, but paused.

"I don't think I should answer that, Lady Sun Shang Xiang."

She understood, even if she had an idea what the real answer was.

After a pause Zhou Yu scrutinized her, wondering what she was thinking or experiencing. It was strange. A woman's chastity was treasured while a man's was belittled. An experienced woman was called a whore, while an experienced man was called virile. Such a double standard attributed to the same act. How much did it affect her?

"Are you still in pain?" Zhou Yu asked, his mind thinking of the first time he bedded his bride and the pain that came along with it.

"A little," Shang Xiang said with a nod, "But it's definitely manageable. I've felt worse."

Zhou Yu shifted, cringing a little as he tried to sit up straight against the foot of the bed. He leaned over the side of the bed and dumped the ashes of his pipe on the ground. He dropped the pipe next to the small amount of ash.

Shang Xiang watched with uncertainty as Zhou Yu creaked with his movements, the normally agile and swift warrior slowing as his body was starting to ache from sitting in the same position for too long.

"Are you…alright?" she asked.

"Yes," Zhou Yu answered as he shifted, "I'm beginning to feel my years. That's all."

"You're still very young."

Zhou Yu chuckled, "But I feel the world around me is younger. It's getting harder and harder to keep up. Ling Tong and Master Gan Ning can fight an enemy for days and still have the energy to fight each other. Lu Meng is becoming a fine strategist with a mind for the future. As is young Lu Xun."

He glanced down at his hands, moving the large joints in his knuckles, "It reminds me when I was fighting alongside Lord Sun Ce. Young and foolhardy we were."

"Surly if you kept in mind he were here, you wouldn't feel so aged? I hardly think anyone here would ever think for a moment that you are getting long in the tooth."

"Don't you worry," Zhou Yu replied with a wry smile, "I have plenty of people to keep me young. My wife among them. Though after years of her….erm… vigorous enthusiasm in the bed chamber, as wonderful as it is has worn at my…endurance over the years."

Shang Xiang's brow furrowed, "I thought you kept it up for a good while, if its any consolation. Really, Lord Zhou Yu, I may be new to this intimacy thing, but I know what satisfies me. You, sire, were not lacking in my eye."

"You've never been with Xiao," Zhou Yu smirked. Shang Xiang quirked an eyebrow, wondering just how long and frequent Xiao Qiao could make her handsome husband perform. She nearly giggled at the thought since the younger Qiao sister had more energy than 20 young men put together.

Then silence caught like a melancholic vice. Such casual talk should've been lifting her spirits. She got what she wanted with no strings attached that she knew of. But once she gazed at him in this quiet daze she wanted and craved and ached for him again. To have him over her and inside her. Perhaps it was because he opened his mind to her, or because she could see him bare and broad before her.

"I know…" she began, the pain of feeling empty getting to her and causing tears to well. "I know your obligation to me is over now. And that you will despise doing anything more. But I want you to know that I want you once more. I crave your touch and I have this incredible desire to hold you in my arms and even kiss you."

Zhou Yu's face straightened back to its unapproachable, unemotional mask, but he looked attentive.

Shang Xiang closed in her self, hugging her legs closer to her body, letting a tear roll down her cheek, "But that's incredibly selfish of me. I already caused you pain and discomfort. To demand another favor would be the worst thing I could to do to you."

"It would," he replied tersely after a long pause, shifting out of bed with a tired grunt.

Shang Xiang was left helpless and wanting as Zhou Yu put his armor and robe back on as well as his boots. He wasn't stiff and uninviting as he pulled his belt back on and his tough leather wrist guards, but it was apparent that he was not open to another round. Not one bit. He did his duty, which he usually would go above and beyond what was desired, and he was relieved it was over. Relieved and pained. He wanted to hate someone, the blame something, but who could he blame? The sister? He couldn't hate her for being so distraught over being manipulated into politics. Himself? He would have to do. He would hate himself. He was responsible for the welfare of his family as well as the Sun family, he should've been able to handle this properly. He failed at that as well.

"I—" he began moving towards the candles on the bedside desk. He watched the flames intently, letting the subtle dance calm him, "I wish I were adept in political affairs to find a better solution to this mess. But considering the position we are in some sacrifices must be made. I just hate that it has to be this way. This…this, whole situation, what we did, what you're about to go through, is not something Lord Sun Quan nor I am particularly proud of."

He stopped as he extinguished one of the candles.

"But don't let all this worry you now," he said as he used his fingers to extinguish another candle. "You must rest."

As Zhou Yu extinguished the last candle, he turned towards the bed and began arranging the covers for her. Shang Xiang laid back as Zhou Yu pulled the covers back over her, making sure they were secure enough to prevent a chill.

"Where will you sleep?" she asked, concerned.

"I'll find some place else…"

"You must rest. I know you will stay up all night tonight. You always do. But I want you to rest. Don't do that as a favor to me but to yourself."

She could almost see him smile in the darkness.

"Don't worry, I'll take Lu Su's bed or get a roll mat."

"Lord Zhou Yu?"

"Yes?"

She paused before saying, "Thank you. For everything."

The commander smiled and nodded, before leaving to find a place to lay for the night.

* * *

A/N: Anyone uncomfortable yet? Yeah...interesting. No, normally I'm not..into this pairing but due to mitigating circumstances I just had to write something. I tried to make it as realistic as possible, but considering the most realistic thing Zhou Yu would probably do is say no and go on his way, it may not be that realistic.

On another note, I have a follow up chapter in mind, but I don't know if I should post it. So for now it'll be an open one-shot.


End file.
